“Australian leader eats raw onion whole” and other gems from a jaw-dropping era

November 8th, 2015  |  Published in Power & Politics


“You couldn’t have made this parliament up,” Evan Williams writes. “This government was going to put us [satirists] out of a job.”

Williams is referring to the Abbott regime.

Tony Abbott (Anthony John Abbott, born 4 November 1957) was the 28th Prime Minister of Australia from 18 September 2013 to 15 September 2015, and leader of the Liberal Party from 1 Dec 2009 to 14 September 2015. He was replaced by Malcolm Turnbull on a 54-44 vote.

Abbott made world news for cringe-worthy reasons; this Prime Minister who was “convinced that windmills are the devil’s work, whose diplomatic strategy consisted of not being lecturedbook cover to by the United Nations, the guy with ‘not bad-looking daughters’ and therefore capable of being Prime Minister for Women”.

Evan Williams has compiled “headlines from the government that broke satire”, and here are some of his samples – from the “the most absurd parliament in Australian history”. The rest can be enjoyed by reading the complete work:

1. Government rejects gift of solar panels for Kirribilli House (Sydney Morning Herald, 16 March 2015).
2. No more national parks as Tony Abbott pledges to support loggers as the ‘ultimate conservationists’ (Sydney Morning Herald, 5 March 2014).
3. Tony Abbott’s top business adviser says ‘global cooling’ is the climate threat we should be worried about (Global Post, 16 August 2014).
4. Coal is ‘good for humanity’, says Tony Abbott at mine opening (Sydney Morning Herald, 13 October 2014).
5. Government plan to fast-track refugees in exchange for potential $19,000 fee (Sydney Morning Herald, 31 July 2015).
6. Tony Abbott: Australians ‘sick of being lectured to’ by United Nations, after report finds anti-torture breach (Sydney Morning Herald, 10 March 2015).
7. Nauru detention centre staff warned not to speak about ‘anything that happens’ (The Guardian, 6 July 2015).cattle
8. Australian minister: ‘Gay marriage could damage our cattle exports’ (Evening Standard, 6 July 2015).
9. People have a right to be bigots, says Attorney General, George Brandis (The Guardian, 24 March 2014).
10. Tony Abbott praises The Australian as Rupert Murdoch’s ‘gift to our nation’ (Sydney Morning Herald, 16 July 2014).
I kid you not. I am quoting directly from Evan Williams, and the media sources also check out (as per the links provided above). No wonder we are still picking our jaws up from the ground! As is John Oliver by the look of him in this image…Joan Beckwith.

abbott and oliver

(Note: This sample of headlines first appeared on the 2020socialjustice Facebook page, and I am inserting a link below to that post to preserve the data.)


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